Beyond The Secret – What's It All About?

“There is no value-judgment more important to man – no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation – than the estimate he passes on himself.”

- Nathaniel Branden

Year after year , we make resolutions, don’t we ? Why do we fail in keeping to our resolution to improve ourselves ? Sometimes out of frustration, we seek out different self-improvement programs and books . Has it ever occurred to you why the number of self-help books is on the rise ? Have you wondered why life coaching is becoming more mainstream?

Many people read self-help books and enroll in some new self-improvement program .  They wanted to quit smoking, lose weight, begin exercising, or learn new skills . Most people embark on such success assessment programs because they are discontented with themselves . They believe that if they can modify something in themselves, they will experience contentment.

People’s experiences have led them to believe if they implement some external change inside themselves, they will feel better on the inside. When they receive honors, degrees, and accolades from peers, they feel good. This led to the belief that a good feeling does complement accomplishment. They conclude that by changing things on the outside, by becoming what other people like them to be, their inside world will change.

It is surprising that most people got it all wrong ! Actually, it works the opposite way . CHANGE MUST BEGIN WITHIN YOURSELF .

The process starts with a change in your thoughts and way of thinking . This change of thought often leads to a change in lifestyle. You can improve the way you think, notice a shift in your behavior and view, and start to see yourself in a better light.

While you may have started the conversion of the inner world , it needs to be sustained to avoid going back to the old ways. As you read on, you will be introduced to uncomplicated, useful, logical, time-tested procedures that thousands of successful people have applied to change self-doubt into self-confidence. Some are daily exercises to build up your self-image , while others are reminders of universal laws to help you stay on the right track when you become too reactive to successes and failures.

Just a reality check: Changing how you feel about yourself cannot just happen overnight and will not happen without any exertion. Quick fixes do not work. Lasting inner change requires time and effort.

Society is enamored with instant solutions and quick fixes . Perhaps we can learn from an old proverb about the Chinese bamboo tree: “After the seed for this amazing tree is planted, you see nothing, absolutely nothing, for four years except for a tiny shoot coming out of a bulb. During those four years, all the growth is underground in a massive, fibrous root structure that spreads wide and deep in the earth. But then on the following year, the Chinese bamboo tree grows up to eighty feet!” From this story we learn the meaning of patience and a deeper appreciation of lasting change .

The good news is that confidence is a product accessible to everyone. While initially we were not inherently born with it, this trait can be taught,   nurtured and reinforced over the years, at any point in life.

Dr. Karl Menninger once wrote, “Fears are educated into us, and they can, if they wish, be educated out.” Confidence can be educated into us too. Try a  life coach and watch as you become the great person you were meant to be.